Diary 102.

Dear diary,

I remember, the very start of the crush was from 19th of April 2009.

It's only around in the mids of August when he coincidentally sat beside me, and I felt my heart beating faster, then I knew I've fallen for him.

But yet in the middle of after that April and before August that period, I did not think of him at all.

Tonight, Christmas Eve, 24th of December 2009.

Listening to the same song since yesterday, it made me cried.

But to be specific, all love songs just links me to him, every single time.

I know it is already not easy to forget someone.

But it seemed even more difficult to ignore things that reminds you of that someone.

Imagine putting yourself in my shoes..

Rejected you, not giving you a chance to openly love, yet still treats you like a friend when met, however won't get to meet any more in life.

This has been going on since the start of the crush.

You are like hell, yet the other is like heaven.

You are in the South, yet the other is in the North.

You are the dumb one, yet the other is the smart one.

You are the noisier one, yet the other is the quieter one.

You know there is no chance, yet the other didn't go against but to support.

What would you do in my shoe?

Longing to just see him again, hoping to get a message from him, thinking of ways just to get closer to him yet..

One step to him = Two steps from him

How torturous can love be?

Fucking tired.. Damn it..

Jasmine

Diary 101.

Dear diary,

My imagination came true..

A girl in our school from the 6th floor jumping down.

I imagined that. And it came true.

Thinking back, I still think I should be the first suicidal case in my school.

Diary.. I miss him..

But I want to forget him at the same time..

What should I do??

Thoughts of him are seriously killing me..

I'm exhausted.

Jasmine

Diary 100.

Dar diary,

Wow, i'm so glad that this is the 100th entry!

So sorry for not coming back to you after so long..

This should actually be like nearly 150th entry??

Well, cos I didn't post entries every single day mah heh heh..

Also, please forgive me for not showing you any photos..

Been having difficulty to upload photos whenever I want to.. =/

Sorry sorry..

Well, lots of stuffs happened.. Things like..

School started, fucked-up stuffs, loss of interest, downhill-ing, busy like hell and fatigue.

Yea as you know, my school is Simei ITE, College East.

Course? Higher Nitec in Business Studies (Sport Management).

Ironic eh? A fat person in sport management, WTH.

This is kinda wordy so.. Sorry about that.

Having trouble to upload photos..

The national inter-school tournament was over and I wasn't there.

Told the wrong person that I couldn't make it.

Yesterday's BBQ, I did not order the food either.

If not for her to her, I would have been dead-meat.

Thank you very much Mdm Suriana.. ^u^

Have always idolized her haha.. She's good in everything!

BTW, i've decided to deactivate my Facebook and Twitter.

Why?? For Facebook, it's because.. Well, I don't know why too.

Twitter, I just decided to sign out and don't really use it again.

Nothing much to do there and nothing keeps me going anyway.

When will I be back? Probably never, probably when someone really wants me back.

So I guess, Diary, you and Plurk will be my only online "friends" now.

See who realises that.

Haha..

Yesterday during the BBQ, my slipper's strap snapped.

I continued staying happy thou haha..

Then I said, "even when I act as thou i'm happy, you guys won't know right?"

Of cos I jus haha-ed at the end of this sentence.

They heard as something else, not sure wad, forgot already.

But anyway, sometimes a smile is forced, just whether you can differentiate it or not.

I told Daryl that now, when I listen to love songs, I felt weird.

Because I don't know who to think of when listening to it.

But after seeing him again, I can't seemed to get away from love songs.

Feelings are really hard to control isn't it?

Heard from one of my friend, her relationship with her BF may come to a break.

This really saddens me.. Cos..

To me, a relationship is not easy to create, if not for the spark.

So the lesson learnt is, never judge a book by its cover.

Back to the guy whom I liked for 2 years, and for 2 months after his rejection.

He looked kinda tired when sitting down.

His eyes were closed, and there is this urge inside me.

"Hey, tired go home first la.." and "Don't care about him Jasmine!!!"

Physically, I don't even feel like talking to him.

But yet mentally, it's killing me as I see him so tired.

Hardworking as ever, doing work even when it's time to relax.

Weirdo, carrying his bad for the WHOLE day.

Can't blame, there's his lap top inside.

Quiet, just as I expected.

Can't blame, cos i'm the one who chose to have a distance with him.

I kept going away, cos I wish he came over to me.

Well, school had already started, I should be bucking up.

Better stop wasting my time thinking of someone who don't even care a shit about me.

And now start revising my studies already. It's already the 4th week in school.

Bye..

(I wish you were here.)

Jasmine

Diary 99.

Dear diary,

Yesterday, I went for Kyorugi Referee Refresher Course.

Lol I confirm fail liao.. My paper haven finish then hand up le.

KNS.. Haiya.. Paper as in, they have theory test mah..

Then for practical they tested our agility and made us do shuttle run.

I tried agility for 1st time, got 47 seconds, and females passing is 45 seconds.

Quite lucky la cos guys is 40 seconds leh WTF.

So after resting awhile, I went for a 2nd try, and got 43 SECONDS!!!

Woah, i'm like super happy like f**k?! LOL! Inbar shit.

Actually before tht got 2 super easy test lol..

Take your BP that test, which actually sit there let the First Aid guy help you do can liao.

After that go take the pledge test, as in say out pledge to examiner..

I passed that easily wahahaha.. so proud of myself lol.

Anyway, went to rest awhile after the agility test.

Then decided to have a go for the shuttle run!!!

Couldn't really hear many people shouting for me..

lol I oso not popular, so im not surprised la haha..

After the shutter run, my record was 44.4 seconds. Like, WTF?!

Fail by 0.4 seconds, KNS. I like want to die then fail by 0.4 seconds wa biang.

Andy helped me to plead to the person who took my time lol.

He said he told the person the stop watch got problem lol, NICE ONE!

Then i passed all 4 tests!! Super happy to the max! *Loves*

But i'll probably be going back cos of my theory test. -.-

Jasmine

Diary 98.

Dear diary,

Recently, and that is actually last Friday..

IT WAS EILEEN'S BIRTHDAY!!!

Haha.. Afternoon met Angie, Eileen and Cherie at Tiong Bahru first.

After that we went to eat Aston's at Cathay, near Plaza Singapura.

After eating we walked to Cine-leisure all the way..

Lol then im like, argh.. my legs are breaking!!

Anyway, we reached there and guess what movie we went to watch?

SUCKER PUNCH!!!

Well.. The whole movie and story is like fake to the max la but..

The whole fantasy feel is great! Like.. Fake but nice la =D

Movie about 2 hours long?? Can't remember..

Eh no, I think less than that.

Anyway, after movie, kinda sad that Cherie gotta go..

Like last time, when we were all close, she's really quiet.. XD

I asked her how come so quiet and she said cos its awkward.. ya so..

After the movie was sad that she gotta go cos we all finally start to get her talking??

As in, the awkward feeling is starting to disappear, then she gotta go.

Sian.. Nvm luh, I guess there's always a next time ._.

Now that she left, we were quite lost?? LOL.

Angie and Eileen accompanied me go in Scape and eat the shaved ice.

When i'm there, I always ordered Champagne Grape ice..

Just the ice alone is so nice haha.. Always mesmerized by it when I took the first bite. *Loves*

After that we decided to go to Boat Quey that area.

Why?? COS WE'RE GOING TO ESKI BAR!!!

Below are a few pictures taken when we're there!

Yea, this is me. BTW, they provide the winter wear coat cos inside is seriously cold TTM.

This is Angie's drink. Called "Granny's Milk". Sounds dirty, I know, but its nice! Tastes like milk tea lol..

And this, is my drink; called "Japanese Slipper". Recommended by the Manager of Eski Bar cos told him I hate bitter and hot feeling in throat. In the end he created this, just for me!! Too bad still slightly bitter @_@

Lastly, this is the birthday girl, Eileen's, drink called "Melon Ball". I tried, i tasted, i dislike.

Lol dislike got reason wan la, cos.. i cant rmb how it tastes like now.. But i only remembered i dun like it.. =X

In the bar, before I left Angie and Eileen, I suggested coming here once a month..

Wonder what do they think haha.. I think it's cool~

Totally absolutely love that place.. *Loves*

Jasmine

Diary 97.

Dear diary,

ALAMAK!!! Ok gonna make this just a short one haha..

How ar how ar how ar?!?!

Between TKD n work.. Jia lat. ._.

Tell my boss I gonna do this sat n sun liao..

Even Sir David came and ask me can be referee anot..

But again, I referee like shit liddat.. Hais..

Woah.. NTU leh!!! I'm sure all bouts are kick head one lor!!!

SCARY!!! Serious, i'm really scared during referee-ing for kick head ones..

But boss called me first eh..

Aiya..

Die die die.. WHAT SHOULD I DO?!?!?

Jasmine

Diary 96.

Dear diary,

It's been one week since that rejection.

It took place on Sunday remember?

So on Monday and Tuesday, I was emo la haha..

But Wednesday and Thursday felt better??

Occasionally still thinks of him thou.

On Friday, I kinda start feeling all weirdo!

Why?? Cos the next day i'm seeing him..

Thankfully on Saturday, an unexpected situation savaged our awkwardness haha..

One kid had tummy-ache and cried like one shit.

Thanks to that kid, we weren't that awkward lor..

The next day there is this monthly stuff.

And he said he's not going.

Thing is nobody asked if he's going.. Why did he say out sia?

Lol.

Well, I admit that I felt slightly sad that he's not going.

But of cos, I din show out because I knew nothing will change for the better.

So yeah.. Gotta get on my life lor.. =)

Jasmine