Diary 37.

Dear diary,

Woahhh~~~

Soooo long din come report to you my life le!

Hope I din make you worry! ;)

Anyway just wanna report first that, well, I think Wobbie (MIA terrapin) is dead.

Till now she has not come out...

I'm still not sure if she is dead or not.

I don't smell anything weird...

I don't wish to smell anything weird too... *Sad*

BTW, yesterday morning about 8.30am??

Wa, damn early... *3/4 conscious...*

I was at the Bedok Sports Hall to be a referee for the Kyorugi tournament.

BTW, Poomsae is pattern. Kyorugi is sparring.

Its the National Inter-school Tournament, means pri and sec school kids join the tournament la...

Its held on Tuesday to this Friday.

Fun there haha...

(Sad that he din go there man...)

(I think maybe his busy for poly??)

(See you soon ZL.)

Jasmine

Diary 36.

Dear diary,

Since yesterday, one of my terrapins is missing.

(Saying one of my terrapins, because I forgot how to differentiate them.)

Damn it la... Why are they like trying to crawl out??

I want to let them come out and walk la... Just that...

THEY ALWAYS SHIT WHEN I DON'T EXPECT IT AT ALL.

..........

Tomorrow night not going GESPS le...

Will only go TKPS till end of May.

Anyway also ok with that la.

GESPS kids... *Speechless*

Just now about afternoon to evening, 2.30pm to 7pm, I went for Kyorugi Refresher Course.

Felt happiness and sadness la...

He's there!! *Loves + Smiles*

But can't do anything that can be close to him. (Eg, lie on his shoulder for fun). *Sadness + heart break*

Hais really as what S.H.E sang, though they sang quite happily.

'Zhe me ban gan jue tian you suan, tou tou ai ni, kuai le you gu dan.'

Man...

I'm still thinking...

After like liking him for one year, should I give him up??

I feel as if, we don't even have the smallest chemistry to become couples.

I know liking him doesn't mean to be couple with him la...

Just... Feel sad la...

Jasmine

Diary 35.

Dear diary,

Just now I went to market and help out my parents awhile.

While waiting for my brother to come down, I just do my best to help them out lor...

So after he came, I had my dinner and head down to Bukit Merah...

Think this is a familiar place??

You see no lights right??

Ya...Bukit Merah's MacDonald... IS GONE!!!

Damn this is so sad man... I had so much memories there!!

When young, sometimes go there eat.

Secondary school life, went there to study, celebrate Angie's birthday or even have gatherings.

But now... If I wanna do all these again, got to go other place's MacDonald.

Seriously wonder why did it close down man...

No business or what?

Sad... Seriously sad...

Anyway, about my 'O' levels, confirm can take liao.

My sister Monday gonna buy the Ten Years Series.

Gosh, now my heavenly days are numbered!! Only 3 days left before Hell reaches me.

BTW, also went NTUC to buy my mummy's items.

Saw Jackie (Jun Xing) there!! Haha been so long...

He looks so different, yet so same.

Different in attitude, same in size.

STILL SO SKINNY AS EVER LOL!!

Now that confirm take 'O' levels, means confirm ending my Taekwondo's journey...

I hope later I can request to at least once per week.

But as what Mdm Suriana said, if we have too much free time, we won't cherish the time to study.

Now i'm seriously worried I may fail my 'O' levels (TOUCH WOOD), just like last year.

I didn't cherish the time I had to study 'O' levels at all.

Thats why I rather have TKD as usual, so the remaining time, i will cherish my time to study my 'O' levels.

I also planned to take ITE (If I get in la), while having my 'O' levels.

For safe education reasons, I wanna do both.

Jasmine

Diary 34.

Dear diary,

About my 'O' levels, my sister had email that person to ask if its still possible to hand on the fees.

About my ITE, I appealed once again, now waiting for result in April 30.

Please... I really hope that I get into either one of them...

Totally willing to work triple hard if I get both...

I'm so happy at least now I still have hopes on my education...=)

As I wait about my situation on the 'O', I know I can still see him.

But again, whats the point??

He treat me as a friend.

I remembered I said, 'I guess...Even if I said 'I 've been in love with you for over 10 months', you won't bother right?' in MSN.

However, even when we met in real life after this, he still treats me normally.

I guess he didn't see his MSN messages after all...

I also gave a hint on his birthday.

Exactly at 12am, 25th October 2009, I sent this,

'Its been so long.

Lax till sian liao.

Only been waiting.

Very happy birthday!!!

Enjoy this day to the fullest!!

You are now 18!!

Only today, you can be crazy!

U can also go clubbing!!!'

(Something liddat la, cant remember whole thing exactly, but u can see the message?)

Yet, he only replied 'Thx'.

I think shud be after 2 weeks??

Means I liked him for 1 year le...

Jasmine

Diary 33.

Dear diary,

My sister went to check the date for paying up the fees for Private Candidate for 'O' Levels.

And the date was 3 days ago.

When she said she didn't notice the payment date, I knew I have a high chance of not taking 'O' levels.

Thought of this, really made me feel like crying out loud.

But thinking, will crying help solve matters??

I know I have to stay strong in this period.

I had wished before that I don't get in ITE, cos Clementi is hot. It came true.

I had wished before that I don't have to do 'O' levels again. It came true.

But seriously for sure I can say.

If I get in ITE, I really don't mind bearing the heat, and just be happy, being able to study.

If I get to do 'O' levels, if my ITE application fails, I promise I will forgo happy tots and just do well in it.

If only at the start, Simen Lourds let me get back HSS, I would do well.

But again, he has his points for not letting me go back in HSS.

Damn...

These days, trouble, disaster and destruction keep coming to me.

One after another.

Jasmine, stay, strong.

Jasmine

Diary 32.

Dear diary,

April 11 is coming. Really really really soon...

How much I wish that day does not come...

When I saw him every single time, I just felt like hugging him so tightly.

But in actual fact, we were friends. We are friends. We are still friends.

This really hurts me so much because I had to be his friend.

I don't want to... But again...

His capabilities. His skills. His knowledge and everything.

I just can't see which part of me even stand a 0.1% chance to be with him.

Currently, failed application to ITE, have not bought all subjects that will be tested on de Ten Years Series.

I feel so useless whenever there is people asking me, 'so now you working or studying?'

I do not know how to answer this. I'm not working, NOR studying...

I lied that I'm studying...

This feels so miserable...

April 11... Just 6 more days.

It'll be the last time i'm seeing him.

Maybe November? Next year? Or forever??

I do not know when will I see him again.

As I saw him, I wanted to hug him.

As I talk to him, I want to say 'I love you'.

As I drift away from him...

There is nothing I can do about it...

Blue. A depressed colour. Real true...

*Utterly shattered heart*

Jasmine